When traveling, if you meet a lady one night, then wake up in the morning and discover your lying next to the bitch and she is an ugly dog!!!
Don’t fix it by going out that evening and trying to fuck a cat !!!
This is an old but very true proverb…
Before thinking your girl is a brammer in the morning…
Wait till her mother wakes up to see what she’ll look like in the future…
Phew!! That even scares me!!!!
On one of my back-packing trips I managed to track down my ‘Thomson’s tour guide’
I asked him if he could ‘guide me’ to the nearest restaurant…, to which he replied…
“Shut up or you’ll scare the fish! Hang around here mate and I’ll catch you a meal!”
If you think we should vote to go it on our own….
It’s too late… My generation let you down.
5 million Scots will melt within the ranks of Poles and Bulgarians.
Weep my Scottish brethern…
We are British and have been too long now to change it…
You’re vote counts…
Vote …KING FUCKIN’ BILLY BOY… YA BASS!!!! JA…Ja..JA
It ain’t always easy to catch a train in India…
AS they are always so f#@ckin’ popular.
Hi fellow bloggers!
I’m sure y’all would like to know where the little history I got ends up in this crazy old world.
Well…?
Life is a pantomime and a pal o’ mine…so here is an ending…
As my true love’s father was so pissed at me for being a white rolling-stone back-packer…
I decided to confide in my true love’s sister…
Did she not dill my pickle so charming I ended up sleeping with her…
This did not go down well with my future mother-in-law and such… 
They said I was a no-good, two-bit piece of trailer-trash, and a white bum…
My sister-in-law paid the penalty…
But the wedding went ahead and everybody was happy apart from one…Can you spot who?
Hey fellow bloggers!
What is Spiderman’s surname? Uhuh! It’s Parker, the same as mine!
This is my blog page where I can spread my web and keep in contact with people who have read or are interested in my book Escape Route.
The power of the pen is mightier than the sword, and Parker is the only manufacturer of a pen worth writing with.
My name is John Parker, born just a howling little wolf cub in the West of Scotland on the 1st of January, 1964. I have got myself into many a tight spot throughout my life and have now put pen to paper and wrote Escape Route to share them.
My life has been a series of knocks and falls, I’ve even been shot at by people who’ve tried to kill me. But, I’ve always got out Scot free through having a premeditated plan before embarking on a journey of destruction. ‘Journey’ is a word dear to me, as I am an extensive traveler who has gone to places alone, where no man would go without a friend. I’ve always been a solo pilgrim traveler as I’ve found out that a man needs a traveling companion like an ass-hole needs a hemorrhoid. The stories in my book are advice to fellow solo pilgrim travelers about how to do the same and not end up falling down into the pit of a canyon, like Wyle E. Coyote.
Life is like a river of whiskey to me and I’m the diving duck, I just jump right on in and never want to come back up.
I am now, just an ordinary guy with unusual stories to tell and some advice for many. I think I am a drifter who has escaped the hangman’s noose and I know my Scottish sense of humor through the way I have lived life will appeal to many ex-pats who live in America. The book is only meant for humor, so be thick skinned enough to read it. Political correctness does not exist in my humor. Read and learn pilgrims.
When traveling abroad and you’re in a bar with a few dandy breathed dudes who want to rob you are hanging around. Never wear one of those giveaway bum bags and put your money in it…As its name suggests, bum bags are for bums!
I keep my cash under my hat and even the thieves admire me for it and buy me a drink!
I really do not recommend taking a taxi in some of the world’s trouble spots…
No way that taxi driver was getting a tip.
In Africa I was on safari watching a springbok leaping in splendor for no known reason what-so-ever and it made wish that I could be so euphoric about nothing. It was a short lived wish as I looked again and admired the little springbok shoot up and alight through the air in showmanship then land again and was pounced upon and torn apart by a hungry lion.
As I winced up my nostrils while watching the nobly savage lion ripping out the springbok’s entrails, it gladdened my heart to know that I have all the marks of an entirely sane man with an instinct for self preservation.
johnparker2012 