V. Urgent Deputy Dawg to Musky. Don’t let her use my razor!!!!

V. Urgent Deputy Dawg to Musky. Don’t let her use my razor!!!!.

I think we should take these scum out of jail and hang the fuck outta them….

Stuart ‘It’s a knockout’ Hall…Jimmy ‘Fixed it’ Saville…. (We can still dig him up and hang him),Rolph ‘Can-ya-guess-what-it-is-yet?’ Harris…And Gary ‘Wanna-be-in-my-gang?’ Glitter…Hhat-ja say Clifford…Uh-huh-huh, it’s all in the catch-phrase….

Fucking string-em up.

Alex Salmond wonders how he ever grew up at all!!!

Freedom come, Freedom go!!! Campaign goes to ground!!!

Never mind Alex… Want a tip for the 3.30 @ Ayr????

You can still bet on a horse using the Scottish pound!!

And you are still loved by one bug-fuck ugly mare…

BRING IT ON MAN!!!!!

Scotland’s biggest joke since Bonny Prince Charlie!!!!

 

Diary of John Parker. Today! Sunday! Sometime in July!! I wrote a song???

Title:- Sun-m-va-bitch.

Lyrics:- John M. Parker.

Music:- Albert Hammond/Warren Zeavon/Jimmie Rodgers.

(Music has been stolen, of course, and the artist John M. Parker will deny all knowledge)

The secret of an artist is to be able steal asunder the nose of a genius without him noticing!!!!

Sun-m-va-bitch.

Verse 1.

Sauntering along giving public notice of a gait which boasts a no part lacking totally wrong attitude,

Displaying the vicious and profligate manner of a wreck-less, scholar pirate living the life of a Derring-do Dude.

Yo-de-leyee-a-alayee-a-ay-eee-oooo. (That was a yodel boys!!!)

Here the female singers enter for the chorus:-

Rosalita:-And Hing-a-mi-jig:-They sing the chorus of:-

OOO….OOOO    AHH-OOO….SUN-M-VA-BITCH.

OOO…OOOO…OOOOOOO    AHHH-AHHHH-OOO-OOO…SUN-M-VA-BITCH.

OO-OO   AHH…AHH   OOOOOOO… HE A HEATHEN…SUN-M-VA-BITCH.

(Just soo—-0000 me)

Verse 2.

Hell yeah Reverend, I am very acquainted with the seven deadly sins and it takes me all my time just to fit them all in,

But I’d like a job like yours, just making a business out of the goodness of life, and what there is to be got out of sin.

Yo-dey-leyee-a-alayee-a-ay-eee-oooo.

And the chorus girls:-

AS BEFORE, with a little bit more blues.

Verse 3.

Well Reverend, first and foremost, I’m in the entertainment business, and I find your candor unrefreshed.

In fact, smells like a good gust of shit has just blown over it, so about time we burned our shoe-soles and left.

Yo-dey-leyee-alayee-a-ay-eee-oooo

And the chorus girls:-

We going up a bar now, and faster…still blues.

Verse 4. (Up a bar more)

Yo-dey-leyee-alayee-a-ay-eeee-oooo.

For years and years I’ve rambled,

I drank my wine and I gambled.

One day I thought I’d settle down.

I met a perfect lady,

She said she’d be my baby,

We built a cottage in the old home town.

Yo-de-leyee-oo-de-leyee-oo-ayee.

But somehow I can’t forget my good old rambling days.

The railroad train is calling me always,

I may be rough, I may be wild, I may be tough and county filed,

But I can’t give up my good old rough and rowdy ways.

Chorus girls:-

On same higher and faster key. (Hay-monn)

Verse 5.

I spent my life among among rough men ruled by their passions and addictions, a totally reprehensible bunch of goons,

And like them, I vary between, tipsy drunk, walking drunk, and dead drunk, depending on the time of day or state of the moons.

Dah-yo-de-laayyyeee-ooo-dah-layyee-oooo–00000.

BROTHER HOW MUCH TIME DO YE HAVE!!!

 

Diary of John Parker 23rd July 2014. Glasgow.

A famous day has passed…. It seems we are to be lead by a wee green man….Yes indeed, today was the opening of the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth games at Celtic Park.

Not everyone was happy with the wee green shite!!!!

But at least we did invite our prettiest Scottish Virgins to open the show….

Karen….And Susan….Tis no wonder they are virgins… I wouldn’t touch them with the prick of a donkey….

The aliens wouldn’t touch them either…

Even if they were the last two females left in the cosmos.

Alas, it got worse for them….

So-ooo disappointed they were for being left with John Barrowman…. Who’s arse has been taken and given by more pricks in it than the surface of Mars has had dents in it resulting from asteroids.

I was impressed by the Taliban Toyota People Carrier with the set of antlers ad-hocked to it.

Good Scottish tackyness and saved a few bob too!!!!

Rod the Bod was a fucking Star as usual….

I must ask him where he gets those tinfoil suits!

And to stop impersonating Mick Jagger’s dance routines?

Lastly, I felt sorry for the Queen, as The Duke of Edinburgh’s behaviour was uncalled for….

His chants of “Tongs ya Bass” and “Fuck the Pope” were not in tow with proceedings…

But it was his first time at Parkhead, in fairness after all.

I thought the Queen’s humming to herself of…

Tum-Tum…  Tum-Tum… Ta.. Tum-Tum-Tum at the end was magnificent!

I heard The Duke say to Our Beth…”Not quite old Ibrox Darling Lisbet?”

“No!” she replied, “It’s much more fun!!!!”

 

V. Urgent Deputy Dawg to Musky. Don’t let her use my razor!!!!

I am now officially barred fae FB. Stood for Fucken Bastards when I was a boy.

Got 3 blog pages and about 23 aliases… Will keep in touch.

“The hanging of Turner” diary of John Parker. Year of our Lord 28th June 1666.

 

Up… and after sending my wife Ysme to my Auntie for a place to see my friend Turner hanged… I to the the bar, where we sat all the morn. We contemplated his crime of which ye shall yield for this day.

And at noon, seeing people flocking to the Square, I inquired and found that Turner was not yet quite hanged. And so went among them to Gallowhill.

There, for a shilling, got in great pain, to stand upon a cart, above an Houre before the execution was done. He delaying the action with time through long discourses and prayers one after another, in hopes of a reprieve; but none came.

And to the last was flung off the ladder in his Cloake. A comely-looked man he was and kept countenance and dignity till the end. I was sorry to see him… but shall dance ‘alongsidehim’ with the wolves, in the afterlife, when my time comes. It was estimated there were between 12 or 14 thousand people there to witness.

A Havana Glasgow tale.

On my recent visit to my twin city I did come across a pair of lesbians of black skin who were both young and very beautiful. I asked them how much for their services and they replied “A guinea!” I negotiated with skill, 1 pound 25 penny and off we went to debauchery. I was surprised, as for two lesbians, they had so very much interest in my male endowment with which they served me to my great pleasure and enjoyment.

On arrival back in Ol’ Blighty I did indeed feel the fleas of a thousand camels crawling around my crotch and made a visit to the Sandyford. Where they administer that great invention of the Scot, Fleming, a shot of penicillin to the buttock. Only a Scot can come up with a cure for afflictions such as these. I wonder what drove him to such extreme intelligence?

Hitherto at the clinic the nurse suggested it may have been my wife who afflicted me with the dreaded lurgy. To which I replied “Nay Mam! One of the lesbians did not pass the ‘sniff test’ but I did indulged anyway!”

Upon thinking on way home of her words spoken, I broke a branch from a Birch tree and did set upon my wife with it in search of a confession, much to the affront of the neighbours. The confession did not come, in fact she drew my baseball bat upon me, and left me bruised and battered, whereupon I surrendered.

I shall be seeking my money back from the two preposterous lesbians upon my return to Havana, as I do believe I have been duped by two female Cut-throates.

This evening, as my piss is now as clear as Highland spring after my treatment, I did pleasure myself with my wife to my satisfaction….. And so to sleep.

Still…

One of life’s sublime experiences is to be shot at, and missed,

Longevity renders me safe from the executioners sword,

When you reach an age when each day is gone forever,

The pessimistic, skeptical soldier will get through the war.

Wishes, when the law comes!!!!

In light of my impending incarceration and contemplating the uncertain, unpredictable future.

I have decided…

That whatever happens…

I will need more booze to carry me into captivity…

Officer????